Ah, where do I begin? If youāve ever wondered what itās like to stay in a place that kind of resembles the listing photosāif you squint, tilt your head, and imagine a different house entirelyāthen boy, are you in for a treat!Letās talk ambiance. The creaking floors really add characterāespecially when youāre trying to tiptoe to the bathroom at 2 a.m. and end up sounding like youāre being hunted by ghosts. Very immersive. And donāt worry about sneaking in late; the entire house will know.The chairs? Well, they do their best. One tried to launch me into a new dimension. Itās impressive, really, how they hold together just enough to lull you into a false sense of security before surrendering to gravity.And yes, the tub still drains slowly, just as past reviewers lovingly warned. Youāll have time for a full existential crisis while waiting for your bathwater to disappear. Pair that with a shower faucet thatās off-centerāas if it were installed by someone with a deep resentment toward symmetryāand youāve got yourself a spa experience like no other.But hey, it is in a nice area. You can almost forget the minor inconveniences while looking out at the beautiful neighborhood and thinking, āI wonder what itās like to stay in one of those houses.āTo be fair, the place has potential. Unfortunately, itās currently stuck somewhere between ācharming fixer-upperā and āmuseum of missed opportunities.ā A few upgradesāand by a few I mean manyācould really bring it into this decade.