4/10 Mala
Czarina M.
24 ago. 2025
Le gustó: Comunicación y ubicación
No le gustó: Limpieza, check-in, veracidad del anuncio
“Luxury” Stay: A Creative InterpretationThis place should honestly win an award, for best imagination. The photos sell you on a luxury stay. The reality? More like a DIY survival camp where every room gets its own ironic nickname.The “steam room”? Four fans desperately spinning, trying to trick us into believing the air was moving. The AC? Broken all week. The thermostat said 62, but that was clearly just for decoration.The “cryo room”? Basically a second bedroom that felt like a walk-in fridge. Dark, windowless, low ceilings, and a healthy dose of mold to top off the ambiance.The “sand room”? Cute idea, tragic execution. It was literally falling apart, brick dust everywhere. Every time the ceiling fan moved, more rubble joined the party. Romantic, in a post-apocalyptic kind of way.The rooftop terrace? A real jungle experience. Forget El Yunque, just hike through the knee-high grass up there. Add in a filthy grill that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned since 1492, free of charge.The kitchen was “open concept”, which I think means open to rusty appliances and not enough trash bags for a group stay. Showers? Dirty, with hot water making a cameo only after a few days. Found dirty Q-tips under furniture (because nothing says luxury like someone else’s earwax). No bathroom rugs, odd-smelling damp couch, and mosquitos that turned the living room into an acupuncture retreat. (Pro tip: bring citronella candles, because unfortunately that wasn’t part of the “amenities.”)
Czarina M.
Se hospedó 7 noches en agosto de 2025
