Requires ID for check-in. No more than 6 guests on the property at anytime. No early check-in or late checkouts.
Farm Animals, Wildlife, Country Living close to all conveniences.
Located within 5 minutes of I-95 in Bel Air, Maryland in an upscale neighborhood, within walking distance to Cedar Lane Sports Complex and short drive to Hospitals, Restaurants, Theatres etc.
Quaint, freshly cleaned & sanitized interior amenities like Comfort Grande Beds, Egyptian cotton linens, ultra quiet HVAC and other features of a quality home in a modest exterior awaits you in this primitive gentleman's farm setting.
Now, we've got a few rules to go over.
Attention, would-be fire-starters and smoke enthusiasts, gather 'round for some house rules that are as serious as a stern librarian's glare:
No smoking, vaping, candle summoning rituals, or indoor bonfires allowed within these hallowed walls. We've already got a smoke detector, and it's not shy about tattling.
If you've got a hankering for some grilled goodness, fret not, we have a grill you can temporarily adopt. Just remember to return it to its rightful place after you've charmed those burgers. We like our property not on fire.
Seriously, folks, we've spent some quality time perfecting this place, and we'd prefer it not to become a crispy critter. So, if we catch any whiff of your indoor smoking or vaping adventures, that's a swift $2000 fine. Ouch, right?
Fear not, outdoorsy types – we've got several acres of the great outdoors where you can puff away to your heart's content. Think of it as your own personal smoking sanctuary, minus the burning house drama.
In a nutshell, no smoking indoors – we like our walls uncharred and our fines unspent. Please, respect the rules, or we'll have to unleash the fire extinguisher-wielding squad.
Welcome to the "Not-A-Party Palace!" Just so we're clear, this isn't the kind of place where you can unleash your inner party animal. No confetti cannons, no disco balls, and definitely no impromptu dance-offs in the living room.
Now, about the guest list – it's not just for your human pals. We're talking about your furry companions too. They've got to make the cut, and there's no sneaking them in later. We want to make sure everyone's accounted for, from your Aunt Mabel to Mr. Whiskers.
This place? It's our pride and joy, and we'd love for you to treat it as such. If you're looking for a spot to leave in shambles, this probably isn't your cup of tea. We've grown rather attached to our walls and furniture, you see.
So, if your idea of a good time involves trashing a place, kindly look elsewhere. But if you're up for a peaceful, respectful stay, you've found your home away from home. Welcome to the "Not-A-Party Palace!"
Now, please don't make the beds when you check out. We've got a cleaning crew for that, and they're very possessive about their bed-making duties. And please don't lock the doors behind you, unless you want to start a game of "Who's Got the Key?" with the next guests.
Also, we know our home is cozy and all, but please resist the urge to rearrange the furniture like you're a contestant on "Extreme Home Makeover". Our cleaning crew gets easily confused when things aren't in their proper place, and we don't want them accidentally vacuuming up the dog or something.
We've got some nice white linens for you to use, but please try not to use them as a canvas for your artistic expression. We've had a few... incidents in the past that have made us reconsider our choice of color scheme. If you do happen to cause some irreparable damage, we'll have to charge you for replacements - sorry, but that's just how it goes.
And lastly, we're here to make your stay as comfortable as possible. Just give us a holler if you need anything, whether it's extra pillows, a cheese platter, or a life-size cutout of Nicolas Cage. We're always happy to help, as long as it's legal.
So, have fun during your stay, and please let us know if we can improve in any way. We're always looking for ways to make our guests feel more at home - or at least less likely to burn the place down.
Have an awesome time in Bel Air.
