When small details are crap, they add up to a heap of crappiness that exceeds expectations of how crappy something can be!
Since ‘03 we’ve rented 15 properties nearby. We know what to expect and for these rates it’s fair to expect a decent standard. Island homes are often older, so no complaint that this house was tired and needing paint.
As another review said, there is nowhere comfortable to sit. The furniture seems as old as the house, despite the misleading photos.
The footstool worn through by countless feet, leather sofa worn to rough suede, patio furniture designed by a sadist and ancient giant tube TV lurking amongst VHS tapes all create a certain atmosphere.
The master bed is criminally uncomfortable, the room inexplicably hot. Run the AC enough and the rest of the house freezes. Not easy to fix, but a check in the crappy column.
The bedrooms are dark. The storm shutters are closed and broken, enhancing the bunker vibe, and half the lamps are missing bulbs.
If more than 3 of you visit, you’ll be sharing small, old towels.
The kitchen is bizarre. 2 Bundt cake tins for all your beach baking. Pans with heavily-damaged surfaces. A melted cutting board and knives so blunt, they probably qualify as child-safe. A total of three tiny, clouded wine glasses, and a psychedelic devilled egg plate, presumably for entertaining sightseers fascinated by the vast collection of ancient Tupperware.
The garage provided broken chairs and umbrellas, more Tupperware…and another devilled egg plate, just in case.
If complaining about wine glasses sounds entitled, none of the other properties we’ve rented have come so comically equipped.
We like a warm pool, so paid $350 for heating, presuming TECO must generate electricity by burning diamonds. We were unexpectedly refunded: “The pool’s warm enough”. Eh? Well, the first few days were fine. A cold front and heavy rain crashed the temp to way below ideal, so we asked for the heat to be turned on, at the diamond rate. “We don’t turn it on after April”. Customer service is for losers! Later it occurred to us that the pool heater probably didn’t work. Aha!
As for basics, does it really save THAT much money to provide only the cheapest, transparent, single-ply toilet and kitchen paper?
A premium price paid for a bargain-basement, budget experience.
It would take little time, modest expense and little effort to flip that around.
You just have to give a damn.
