Traditional 18th century farmhouse on the slopes of a mountain

I am horrified to hear of your experience. If you had contacted us at any point during your stay we would immediately have sent our caretaker up to address these issues; we had no phone calls, texts, emails or any kind of message. The beds are of course changed for each stay (we paid Peter £120 when he cleaned for your visit) but it is possible that some of the linen was a bit elderly, in which case we could have directed you to all the brand new linen in the airing cupboard or asked Peter to remake them for you. The beds have John Lewis pocket-sprung mattresses and we regularly swop all the mattress covers and pillow shams to ensure cleanliness. I can only imagine that some child the previous week had had an accident, nobody had told us, and the mattress cover should have been washed as well as the sheets. Regarding the fire, yes, of course you need to open a window or door (whichever side the wind blows) whilst lighting it, the instructions explain this. It is a traditional 18th century fireplace, made from tons of stone, and it will not pull the smoke up until it has warmed slightly. In the days when it heated the house, it would have burned coal and been in use 24/7, with the chimney always hot. That is not practical nowadays. For heating there is an oil-fired range (oil included) that runs the central heating. The fireplace is for atmosphere, not heating. A period property in this kind of location requires continual maintenance; in the past 3 years we have replaced the kitchen, shower, carpets, front and back doors, workshop windows, exterior drainage, surfaced the track, removed trees with ash die-back, removed a bees nest inside a wall and rendered both chimneys; I am sorry if it did not meet expectations. I have taken a Luton van along the drive on many occasions; there should be no difficulty for a normal car, if you drive carefully; again, I could have asked Peter to trim the hedge if there were shoots sticking out. There are four bedrooms (two double-bed rooms, a twin room, a double single room) so we can properly accommodate 9 people.